Scoop's Blog

A blog about nothing, intended for consumption by no one.


Poems I Like           THL BBS           The Hodgkins Lutheran

If you want to tell me something, you can email me here. I check it sometimes.

Going to the bulletin board and posting something would probably be better.


Every Road In Cook County Right Now

2024-07-19 1546 hours

This seems like every road by our house right now.

The big joke around Chicagoland is that there are two seasons in Chicago: Winter, and Construction. But the past 18 months or so have been relentless. There has been construction on the tollway, on La Grange Road, on I-55, on East Ave., on 55th St., and on First Ave...all at the same time. It has been impossible to get anywhere. Things have eased up considerably since East Avenue has opened up (one lane in each direction only though, let's not get crazy), but it is still an ordeal to get anywhere. 

The press release from IDOT announcing the construction gave the understatement of the decade when it advised, "Motorists can expect delays and should allow extra time for trips through this area."

They say that the end is near. I hope they mean that the construction will be finished soon. ###

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So, *that* happened...

2024-07-14 1227 hours

Donald Trump pumping fist in defiance post being shot in the head

I apologize in advance for this post. I don't like to delve into political topics here. This one, however, is of sufficient magnitude that it can't be ignored. I'll try to be as concise as possible. Then we can get back to the Tempo section-style fluff and memes.

On Saturday, July 13, 2024, A 20-year-old man from Pennsylvania seems to have tried to assassinate former President and current presidential candidate Donald Trump at a rally in Butler, PA.

I'm not a big fan of President Trump. I thought he had a good presidency until he handed the country over to Anthony Fauci and company. That's when he stood by as the Democrat and Republican parties around him, at the local, state, and federal levels usurped our civil rights, lied to us about the severity of the pandemic, and allowed major cities like Chicago, Minneapolis, Portland, and Seattle, just to name a few, to descend into political violence and mob rule.

But now someone has tried to murder him. Thomas Matthew Crooks, whom the media has pointed out is a "registered Republican" injured President Trump and killed at least one other person in the crowd. I'd like to point out that I believe Mr. Crook's status as a "registered Republican" is canceled out by his financial support for "The Progressive Turnout Project," a "Democratic-aligned political action committee" as reported by the New York Post...

To continue Reading, click HERE.

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Me too, Bacon

2024-06-19 2242 hours

I definetly feel more than 73% fat after the dinner we had at Tony's tonight...


Celery: Water with hair in it

2024-06-19 2234 hours

Posted to iFunny.co on 2023-02-05 by AnnaDelainePrevost.


Palm Zire 31

2024-06-17 1125 hours

image of the PDA PalmOne Zire 31

Back in the early 2000s, I remember getting one of these Palm devices. I also remember that I was frustrated with it. I could never seem to get the writing feature to work properly (though I did suspect that it was operator error). I also didn't have that much going on in my life that I actually needed a personal digital assistant.

The other day, I found this little gadget in one of my bins of miscellaneous electronics, without the cord, of course, so I couldn't power it on. I really wanted to see what, if anything, was on this thing so I resorted to eBay. There were lots of these little guys for sale, so I bought one just to get the cord. It came yesterday... To read more click HERE.

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T.J. Maxx Store Employees to Wear Body-Worn Cameras

2024-06-07 1056 hours

image of a TJ Maxx store

The stores T.J. Maxx and Marshalls have announced that their some of their workers will be required to wear body-worn cameras, much like the ones that police officers use.

The decision to do this was made, according to Boston News 25, "to support a safe store environment." They hope particularly to deter shoplifting. It's not going to work for a couple of reasons. Click HERE to read more.

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Haircuts

2024-06-07 1800 hours

19th century barber shop

Why the hell is it so hard to get a haircut?

I mean, it isn't hard to just go and get your hair cut. There are plenty of places around that will do the job. I can think of five within a three-mile radius around here that will do the job. I guess what I really mean is, why is it so hard to find a barber?

I bring up this subject because I recently had to break up with my barber. This one kind of hurt. We were pretty serious and had been together quite a while. But, sad to say, it just wasn't working out anymore. Real barbers are surprisingly difficult to find.

When I was a kid, barbers were everywhere. They were all 85 years old. They were nearly all Italian. They all had the same shop: tile floor, big mirrors lining the walls, those creepy leather and steel chairs that could lay back so they could give you a shave; all those stainless steel implements laid out on the counter in front of the mirror, all with a specific purpose; jars of blue liquid with combs, and whatnot soaking in them. The walls were usually plaster and painted, or done in some kind of paneling. The place had a certain smell; the kind of smell that causes you to feel like you are safe; the smell of sweat, and Clubman Aftershave; the smell of your grandfather. I don't remember much superfluous conversation, which, it turns out, is part of the reason for my conundrum...click HERE to read the entire article.

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Badlands Chuggs

2024-06-04 1919 hours

Smiling heavy-set african-american man wearing a
bowler hat, holding a glass boot filled with dark liquid

My daughter introduced me to Badlands Chugs last night. We spent over an hour watching this large and entertaining man ingest combinations of drinks which looked neither possible nor palatable. I was mesmerized by his creation of something he called "Chocolate Pilk" (a mixture of Pepsi cola and Nestle Quick, which is what I understand to be an unorthodox take on traditional Pilk, which is simply Pepsi and milk). He drank three litres of this concoction. In 45 seconds. And I couldn't look away. It was like watching a python unhinge his jaw to swallow whole a rat, only the rat was a three-litre glass boot filled with soda and synthetic chocolate milk, and the python was a literal 6'5" 400-pound black man wearing a bowler hat.

I love him, and his channel, but how is this man still alive?

After some cursory interet searches, I found out that Badlands is also known as Eric Booker. According to Wikipedia, he is "an American competitive eater, rapper and YouTuber." He has seven MLE (Major League Eating...who knew that was a thing!) world records and three Guinness World Records. My personal favorite of BC's accomplishments is that he "drank" ONE GALLON OF LEMONADE IN 23.08 SECONDS. Again, how did he not die?

Check out his list of accomplishments near the bottom of his Wikipedia page.

I think tonight I'm going to check out Badlands Chuggs' "Longest & Loudest Burp" video

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17-Year Cicadas: Flourescent Lights of the Wild

2024-06-03 1737 hours

cicada close-up on branch

We went for a bike ride yesterday. It was perfect weather for it. We rode all over Hodgkins, Countryside, and La Grange. We ate barbeque. We sampled exotic teas. We ate frozen yogurt and visited friends. But, by the time we got back home, I had a splitting headache, and it was only partially due to the beer I drank with Craig.

It was the cicadas.

OMG cicadas, give it a rest. We get it. You are out of the ground, and down to clown. Well, have at it. But do you have to be so effing noisy?! The sound was not only overwhelming in terms of dbs, but is was also at just the right frequency to drive one mad. I honestly don't know how people in La Grange can stand to be outside in their yards. Riding down Cossit Ave., I couldn't talk to my wife who was RIDING NEXT TO ME.

Even now, I hear them outside. The ear-splitting shriek is a mere buzz, not unlike the not-at-all pleasant hum of a faulty flourescent light balast in the hallway just down from your cubicle, that slowly drives you insane over the course of a 30 year beige career.

According to the random AI-generated answer I found on the internet, these particular cicadas are supposed to have a life span of four to six weeks. So, we have about a month left to go. If I was able, I would take my vacation and go wherever swarms of cicadas are not. Of course, they will all be dying off in July. In what promises to be the sweltering heat of July.

I don't look forward to what that's going to smell like.

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Biden Should Have Pardoned Trump? Mitt Romney is Delusional

2024-06-02 2138 hours

Mitt Romney, reports the Post Millennial, thinks that Alvin Bragg should have settled his case with former President Donald Trump and, when Trump was indicted, President Biden should have pardoned him.

"You may disagree with this, but had I been President Biden, when the Justice Department brought on indictments, I would have immediately pardoned him," Romney explained at the time. "Because it makes me, President Biden, the big guy and the person [who] pardoned a little guy."

First of all, who let Mitt Romney back in the house? Why are we listening to anything this RINO has to say about anything? Second, does Mitt still think that this is a conventional political fight? He must not realize that the Democrats are playing for keeps. They could never have taken his advice. They are on an ideological mission to destroy Trump and the Republican Party (which, IMHO is long overdue), and cement their authority to make policy, and keep it in place even when they are out of power. On the other side, the Republicans, especially ones like Mitt Romney, are just trying to win elections.

The Left is using Brazillian Jiu Jitsu to win a street fight while the Republicans are trying to square up according to Marquis of Queensbury rules. ###

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My Mother Watches Movies

2024-06-02 2055 hours

Charlie Hunnam badass portrait.

My mother spends all her time watching free movies on her smart TV. I generally call once a week on Sunday. A large portion of our time is spent discussing which free movies she watched recently. Rarely does she remember the names of the movies. She searches by actor name. Bruce Willis, Nicholas Cage, Charile Hunnam (he's her current favorite...he's British).

My dad likes to watch sitcoms he has already seen, which is much more my style. So, she usually gets in a couple of shots in about how she hates whatever sitcom he is currently binge watching. Her only exception is NCIS. And true crime, of course. Court TV. I guess that is to be expected, what with her being a Boomer.

We rounded out the phone call trying to figure out which Hollywood actors from back in the day. She informed me that Raymond Burr, of Perry Mason fame, was a homosexual, something I heretofore did not know.

Of course, we agreed that we did not care if Raymond Burr has sexual relations with men. As Perry Mason, he created a helluva dramatic courtroom summation. ###

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The First Post

2024-06-02 2020 hours

As if I don't have enough webpages and blogs! IDK why I'm doing this, but I am. I wrote this page in Notepad on my Wincor Nixdorf Beetle running Windows 95. I spent all this time learning HTML5 and now I don't know how to do anything in this "primitive" environment.

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